2021.Christmas.
Family.
Disaster.
Not disaster in the sense of apocalyptic destruction. But more in the way of family drama.
We were to be a group of 15. Yet concerns about Covid and a nasty variant made Christmas this year a little tricky. Vaccinations. Booster shots. Too cold to be outside or open the windows. So I stewed. Looking at the guest list, there were two who made all this planning, well, uncomfortable. I labored about what to do. Finally settling on a text message to my brother and sister-in-law. I didn’t want to have a nasty confrontation on the phone, and my brother doesn’t always respond to text messages, so I sent it to both of them.
“We have started preparing for Christmas dinner and a house full of guests. However, with more people in the house, we are uncomfortable with the two of you being unvaccinated. Perhaps we can get together after the holidays. We hope you understand.”
I only ever heard from my sister-in-law:
“Good call. We wouldn’t want to chance any of you getting [us] sick. But thanks for letting us know the whole family will be gathering and celebrating without us.”
So many thoughts raced through my mind. So many bitter replies. One sensible solution, to me...get the shot. I respect their choice, and felt they should respect mine. I also felt it was time to draw a line in the sand - protect my family, and send a message that it’s not okay to expect there will be no consequences for their decision not to get vaccinated. I know she was hurt.
December 24 I received a text message from my sister-in-law. I don’t know if my brother ever saw it:
“Merry Christmas Eve! Hope you all have a wonderful day tomorrow. We will miss seeing everyone. As for us, well, we were very fortunate to be invited to Christmas dinner by TWO different neighbors/good friends. Amazingly, they couldn’t care less that we are not vaccinated. Pretty humbling for [us] after being rejected by our own family.”
So many thoughts raced through my mind, again. So many bitter replies. I didn’t reply to either of my sister-in-law’s messages. They need to be angry. They need to feel justified in their thinking, which could possibly expose our parents (83, 84) to this deadly virus. I later learned that my brother wished I had called him. How would that have gone? He is a bitter, angry man. And it’s not this whole Covid thing...he has been this way for a long time. Did I really want to subject myself to that? To have to defend my thinking and my choices?
We both made choices based on what we saw as right for us. We missed them at Christmas. We will miss them at future family activities until such time as they are vaccinated OR this virus is eradicated. Either way, I’m pretty sure it will be a long time before we see or hear from either of them.